We are following the line down – if you remember, the last women we studied were Rachel and Leah. We follow Leah’s line to her son Judah. I’m sure the tribe of Judah is familiar to you. It’s where the name Jew is derived from—one of the 12 sons that came from Jacob.
We are led to wonder if the selling of Joseph into slavery by these boys caused the tension that made Judah move away from his brothers. He marries a Canaanite woman, not one of their kin, and has three sons, Er, Onan, and Shelah. There is always an undercurrent of hostility with the Canaanites, and whilst it wasn’t yet forbidden, it certainly wouldn’t have been encouraged.
That hostility is bred into the three sons Judah has. The first two we know were so wicked that God killed them off, leaving Tamar without children and a widow. She’s sent back to her father’s house to live until, she is told, the younger son is old enough to marry her and bear sons for the brother’s lineage to continue. This is all very strange for us, and we do need to look past the obvious discomfort we have at this time, with a plan like this, but it was the Leverite law. Judah kicks this obligation into the long grass, thinking that perhaps Tamar was the reason his first two sons had died, so you understand his fear and the reluctance to marry her to the third. I think he feels it all will disappear if he ignores the problem.
His wife dies, and he is on his way to meet with the men who shear his sheep. Tamar goes on the road to Timnah and dresses as a prostitute. It’s important to understand the distinction between how we would imagine a prostitute and the women of this time. There were temple prostitutes who were slept with for pagan fertility rites, and there were also women who were ‘Public women’ who may have been, available for hire for breastfeeding or midwifery, among other skills.
Judah, now a widow, asks to sleep with her assuming she is a pagan prostitute. She does and becomes pregnant. He doesn’t have any payment on him, so at her request he leaves her with his staff, seal, and cord until he returns with a goat. His friend returns, and the woman has obviously vanished. No one knows who they mean. (Gets his friend to delicately search for her as a “public woman”, to avoid any scandal) Judah thinks, “Oh, well, I tried to do the right thing.”
Three months later, he gets the news that Tamar is pregnant – outraged, he commands that she be burnt to death. Only clever Tamar comes up with the Staff, Cord and seal, all undeniably Judah’s. The owner of these is the father, she says, in a real DNA reveal kind of moment.
Judah, to his credit, holds his hands up. She hasn’t publicly shamed him, she doesn’t even accuse; really, she simply says, “See if you recognise these?” She is the picture of cool. Judah acknowledges that “She is more righteous than I.” He accepts that he was in the wrong.
Remember Judah deceived his father by putting goat’s blood on Joseph’s coat. There is a comforting circle of gentle justice being played out here.
The lineage is preserved through Tamar, Midrash suggests she is the daughter of Melchizedek the priest, which explains why she was dealt with according to the laws for a daughter of a priest…we don’t know this for sure.
A few points that have come to me..
- Forgetting how we would find this whole thing wrong now, Tamar is being denied something that, by levirate law, was her right.
- Tamar could have sat back and accepted her fate, but she chose to act.
- Her stand for her rights meant Judah faced his own failings, grew in humility and repented.
I wonder how brave we are when it comes to our rights as human beings and as women? Do we have the courage of Tamar to challenge wrongs, or do we avoid conflict or confrontation?
It went well for Tamar, I think, because she didn’t accuse, scream, or yell. She quietly and cleverly made a stand and took what was hers.
Matthew 18: 15-17 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault just between the two of you”
When there is injustice, it’s tempting to want to cut down the oppressor and make a big deal. But Judah wasn’t evil. He was scared and buried his head, hoping the problem would go away. I think in most cases, the same will be true for all those we face a problem with.
I wonder if you can think of situations in which you have stood up and in which you have sat back, afraid of the consequences. I’m sure we will all have some of each. Tamar teaches us how to right wrongs with grace and God’s blessing.
I have a quick story to share that happened recently. There was a particular plan made for part of a retreat we were running, which, when I read it, I was mortified for many reasons, the main one being that it was an offence against church teachings. It was intended for good, and at first I thought, I’m not going to make a fuss, I have no authority here, I don’t want to cause ill feeling, and who made me defender of the Eucharist? . But the niggle wouldn’t go away. I tried to ignore it, and like everything we stuff down, it burst out and became a rage. I took it to my SD, and he confirmed I was right to be upset, but he didn’t really tell me how to deal with it. I took the rage to confession, I was wisely told to write it all down and then discern whether or not to send the letter. I did. But what would have been a full-on raging rant was a carefully considered and kind (I think) list of why this was not a good idea, including the consequences. The plan was halted immediately, everyone was still friends, and the retreat was as blessed as I hoped. He always shows us a way to go… It’s a grace and one that, if we all prayed for as a church, would make us the foretaste of heaven we are called to be.
