Beauty and The Increased
I recently stopped my subscription to Omaze and took all social media off from my phone. The social media spurred me to clean and tidy my house, but I noticed something else: I felt dissatisfied. The Omaze house, too, was turning from a little dream into something I deeply desired. Each time my numbers weren’t drawn, I’d do a little “that’s ok”, but it was disturbing my peace, I knew it. As it came on the TV, my husband asked, ” Are you still doing this? Should I start to pack for the Cotswolds? I explained no, I’ve cancelled the subscription because I realise that it was making me ungrateful for the house I had, akin to throwing back in God’s face what He has provided. The comparison wasn’t motivating me, but it was making me envious.
So this week’s women are Rachel and Leah. Rachel is beautiful, and Jacob falls madly in love with her at first sight. He works seven years for the sketchy Laban ( Her father) for her hand in marriage, only to wake up the night after his wedding to find he’s lying next to Leah, the older sister. He’s been tricked, and sketchy Laban says, “Oh, it’s okay. You can marry Rachel for another seven years of work. You can marry her next week, though.” If you remember, Jacob is only at Haran because he played a very similar stunt on his father and pretended to be his brother Esau. He never comes to love Leah, though she bears him lots of sons. Rachel, who has the adoration of her husband, remains childless, at least until she does a dramatic wailing to Jacob, who, it seems, has found her character wearing a little thin by then.
The twelve tribes of Israel come from these two women and their handmaids.
What’s to learn about God from this story?
There’s a sharp lesson in the dangers of envy: right at the beginning of Genesis, we hear how Cain’s envy of Abel led him to murder his brother. Jacob’s envy of his brother’s birthright led to the trickery. In fact, before that, it was Eve’s desire to be like God that brought us all on the wrong side of the garden walls. The serpent plays still into our natural tendency to want more than we have.
Each of these sisters didn’t initially have a disordered desire; Leah wanted to be loved, and Rachel wanted to have children, but it was what they did with those desires that caused the division and stole their joy. The Lesson I learn most from Leah is an understanding of free will. We can’t force love, because the moment it is forced, it ceases to be love. We learn so much about the desire of God’s heart in this. He, too, does not force us to love him; he created us to love him, we thrive in His hands, He loves us unconditionally, but at no point does he force us to love him back, he wants a freely given, authentic love, not mere puppetry. His creation of what Love is, and maybe a glimpse of his experience of rejection, is something we can see in Leah’s story.
God consoles Leah’s heart, he fills her home with child after child, and whilst in the beginning she looks on the children to sway her husband’s favour, she learns to see that her arms are filled with children to love and who love her back. I think she finds God’s heart and blessing in this eventually.
Rachel doesn’t; she becomes bitter, and the children are part of a competition. I wonder if, because she had always been prized for her looks, she never really had to cultivate a character. She names her firstborn son Joseph ( a prayer for more sons) and the last son Benjamin, meaning “son of my pain or sorrow” She dies after giving birth, but we see even with the prayers answered, she hasn’t found happiness. I think 100 sons would not have brought Rachel happiness because the desire came from envy.
So where does Envy come from?
1. Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem: Envy can be a sign of insecurity or low self-esteem, as we may feel inadequate or inferior when we compare ourselves to others. This can lead to feelings of resentment and a desire to undermine the person we envy.
2. Lack of Gratitude and Scarcity: Envy can also stem from a lack of appreciation for what we already have and a focus on what we lack. This can lead to a feeling that resources are limited and that others’ success comes at our expense.
3. Social Comparison Theory: Social comparison theory suggests that we often compare ourselves to others to evaluate our own skills. This comparison can lead to envy when we see someone as having superior qualities or abilities.
The back of the booklet offers some helpful ways to overcome or, even better, avoid falling into a place of envy. If we are honest with ourselves, there will be traces of this in each of us, but it’s an uncomfortable emotion to admit to. Like all things, if we name it, we have God-given dominion over it!
