Rebekah

Bearer of Two Nations

There’s a lot in this story, with all sorts of twists and turns, and enough content for about three weeks’ worth of these meetings. So, please forgive that I’ve left out more than I’ve included. Here is an outline to help us get the gist of the story first. Rebekah’s story

1. She is the daughter of Bethuel, who is the nephew of Abraham, son of Abraham’s brother Nahor, who stayed behind when they all left for the Land God had promised them. (Remember Sarah’s story)
2. As she is the next generation down, she is quite a bit younger than the 40-year-old Isaac
3. Abraham sends a servant to Bethuel’s household to find a bride for Isaac. He doesn’t want Isaac to marry the locals and get involved with all their sketchy gods.
4. The servant travels 550 miles and says a prayer to God, asking for clear guidance, which will be evidenced by the fact that she will offer him water to drink and then water all his camels.
5. Well, Rebekah comes along and does just that. She goes down to the well and draws up gallons of water for him and the camels. This girl is a diligent worker and possesses an exceptional sense of hospitality and generosity. The servant asks who she is, and when He finds she is from the right family too, he falls to his knees in thanksgiving.
6. Rebekah brings them all home, and the servant explains the whole story to her family.
7. They agree that Rebekah can marry Isaac; they ask her, which is heartening, and she chooses to leave with the servant, despite her mother saying, “Oh, can you come back for her and leave her with us for a bit longer?”
8. Off they set, and she and Isaac meet, in every sense, and they are married.
9. It’s been 20 years, and Rebekah hasn’t had any children. We haven’t heard her complain about it, but Isaac prays, and she conceives twins.
10. The twins fight in her womb, she asks God why this is so painful, “Why go on living?” she says
11. God tells her there are two nations in her womb, one will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger
12. The twins are born, Esau is first, red and hairy, and Jacob comes out holding his heel.
13. Esau becomes a skilful hunter and is his father’s favourite; Jacob, we are told, stayed between the tents…a mummy’s boy perhaps
14. Jacob tricks Esau into giving up his birthright for a bowl of stew (he was starving, he said)
15. A famine occurs at some point. They flee to Gerar (the Lord says not to go to Egypt). Isaac tells King Abimelech that Rebekah is his sister; this time, it’s not even a half-truth, but well, Abraham did very well out of it, and I guess Isaac thinks, ‘ Well, if it was okay for him… ‘
16. Abimalech sees them canoodling and says, ‘Hey! She’s not your sister. ‘ Isaac says, ‘ Yep, sorry. I thought you might kill me because she is so beautiful. Isaac sows crops while he is there and becomes very wealthy. This led to issues with the Philistines, so they relocated and eventually settled in Beer-Sheba.
17. Esau marries a Hittite and a Hivite, neither of which makes life easy for Rebekah and Isaac
18. When Isaac was so old that he had become blind, he called Esau and said, “Go catch something, make me a nice stew, and then I’ll give you my blessing
19. Rebekah overhears this, and as Esau leaves, she gets Jacob to put on Esau’s clothes and goat skins (because Esau was hairy, remember) and trick Isaac into giving the blessing to him, not Esau,
20. Esau comes back with the meat for the stew and finds out he’s lost that blessing
21. He is furious and threatens to kill Jacob as soon as Isaac dies
22. Rebekah sends Jacob away for his protection, and he sets off to Laban’s, her brother’s, at Haran
23. We don’t hear if she ever hears or sees from Jacob again.

  These are the things that have stood out to me.

I’m wondering what happened to Rebekah in the in-between. What had made her change from this generous, courageous, spirited young girl into someone so manipulative and controlling?
Her marriage, I suspect, became rocky when Isaac prioritised his own life over hers by claiming she was his sister (just like his Dad did). That would have compromised her security and trust in Isaac. Broken trust in a relationship is difficult to repair, and if it isn’t repaired, the seeds of disillusionment are sown and grow, infiltrating every part. I don’t know if she ever told Isaac what the Lord had said to her about the boys; we don’t hear that she did, and if so, what his reaction was.
Perhaps that betrayal of her trust, which started in Gerar, was the reason she felt she needed to be in control to protect herself, and the prophecy. Maybe It was during that time that the walls went up in her relationship with Isaac and the division was established. The need to provide your own protection leads to controlling everything around you, and then even to manipulation, in order to satisfy the need to guard against vulnerability.

I do wrestle with the fact that even God seemed to favour the devious Jacob, and I suppose we can only take comfort in the fact that He can favour anyone of us; we don’t have to be honest, nice, or perfect. Esau’s mistake was selling his birthright for a bowl of stew; I suppose that doesn’t demonstrate a heart set on the kingdom and family values.  He was a bit of a bloke; he didn’t marry well and later realised that his wives caused considerable stress to Rebekah and Isaac, so he married a descendant of Ishmael in an attempt to regain favour. All a little late.
Rebekah ends up losing her favourite son through her manipulation and trickery; we never hear that they meet up again after he leaves. Isaac dies at 180 years old. I think Rebecca was around and is believed to have lived to 137, as she is not mentioned when Jacob and Esau meet later on.  They are buried together in the family cave of Machpelah.

So I have more questions than answers for you. Is lousy behaviour ever justified?  It was sneaky and underhanded, but it brought about the prophecy she had received. Is this Ok if it’s for God?  How do you feel about that? Do the ends justify the means?  The Catechism says, “There are concrete acts that it is always wrong to choose, one may not do evil so that good may result in it (CCC 1761). St Paul says, “we cannot do evil that there may come good” so that’s a firm no. its not Ok.

Did God know that by giving her the prophecy, she would act accordingly, or was there another plan, one that didn’t bring such conflict and division?
Rebekah didn’t wait for God’s timing the same way Sarah didn’t wait for God’s timing, but I think there’s a big difference in the why. Sarah thought she was the problem, and Rebekah thought she was the solution.

    The question for ourselves is to examine those places where we take control over situations and ourselves, even when we have no authority.  Where do we manipulate an outcome?   The wrestling in the womb may reveal something about the struggle we all face in determining our part. What is for God to do and what is my explicit role?  With all the discernment and prayer, we can still make mistakes. We can only strive to maintain a balance between apathy and control. The tension between the pull of both sides is perhaps best illustrated by Rebekah’s experience of pregnancy: what we ultimately give birth to is determined by the one we favour.

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Music suggestion – I surrender – Taya Hillsong Worship