
“Well, if things got worse” said George (names changed) “and it was legal of course, I’d be up for ending things a bit sooner”
I pick George up once a month to go to a friendship group, life is a bit tough but he still has all his mobility, his mind, a dog he loves and family that visit.
“That’s sad” I said, “what about your family?” “That’s the reason I’d want to check out” he said “feel like I’m a burden now, wouldn’t want it to be any worse”
It’s a familiar conversation in my job. The good times seem to have past and the future just seems full of doctors appointments, escalating needs and the vulnerable place of having to ask for help or rely on other people. A slow surrender of independence. One final life lesson, possibly the hardest saved for last.
I understand how hard it is to accept help, but it still breaks my heart. I normally just give a glib “there will be a reason you’re meant to be here still” knowing that it’s a comfort long shot, spoken to people who’ve seen too many long shots and have the wisdom to smell a bluff a mile off.
I do truly believe there’s a reason, but I almost always don’t have an answer to what that reason is. But today was different. Today the Lord gave me a reason.
“Do you think being in need of other people’s help Is such a bad thing George?”
“Well yes” he said quite honestly “everyone’s busy, they don’t want to be running around after me”
We went on to have the most beautiful conversation, not one that you needed a deep faith to grasp, not one that required a theological understanding of suffering, really it was merely a statement of facts.
“George, if we just dispensed anyone who needed looking after, do you think the world would become a better place? “
“Maybe” he said
“I just wonder if, I wonder if, the whole of humanity would become more selfish, more self centred if there were never anyone who required them to look beyond themselves. Imagine if we only ever had to look out for ourselves, not just our families would become poorer but the whole of society”
I let that hang in the car for a few minutes.. “George, did you ever help anyone in need in your life?”
“Yes loads of people” he said
“I bet you’re a better human being for it, I bet it felt good to be able to help”
“yes, yes it did” he replied, I could tell he was mulling this over.
“Then is it possible, that your need for help is actually making the world, or this corner of it a better place, could this maybe be a gift for those who love you?”
“Never thought of it like that” he replied “ but yes I think maybe you’re right” We both sat in silence for the rest of the journey, deep in our own thoughts.
We arrived at the hall and it never came up again, I watched him giving out advice he’d picked up on Blue badges to two ladies, I saw him laughing out loud with the magnet game we had out, I saw him chatting, drinking tea and eating a fairy cake. I saw him living in a world that was better off because he was in it.
I dropped him home later, helped him up the steep steps he has. “That was a lovely afternoon, Thanks” “My total pleasure” I replied, hoping that even in this season, in this stage of life, today George had found a reason to stay.