Would we have gotten on John and I .. I mean pre-Jesus John? I wonder if he was the kind of man who would have made me roll my eyes and raise my eyebrows. Maybe I would have found myself irritated or even intimidated by the bullish and perhaps arrogant “son of thunder”.
I think he would have walked with a bit of a swagger, raised by a mother who thought that the sun rose and set in her sons, and a father who probably worked really hard to build a successful business just to hand over to his boys. I wonder had he watched them develop an air of entitlement off the back of his good provision and their overindulgent mother.
I picture him saying “Salome, you’re spoiling these boys, we need to be tougher on them” knowing that he was just the same at their age, full of noise and bravado, all that youthful zeal for justice that real life hadn’t yet kicked out of them, but, of course, with none of the wisdom that comes from having just that.
Let me paint the picture a little more for you – John grows up in Galilee; Galileans were looked down on by the Judeans from Jerusalem, for being “people of the land” (rough and ready to us) Galilee was not isolated like Jerusalem; all different peoples and cultures passed through. The Judeans assumed that the Galileans were not as observant of the law, that the focus was more on work and money, than worship and observance. This wasn’t actually true; these people were no less devout, but everyday life and survival had more priority. It was a lived faith; Teresa of Avila would describe it as finding God in the pots and pans.
It may have been this reputation that bred a defensiveness among the people of Galilee. Maybe a zealousness to prove they were equal to those whose lives looked more “religious” Nothing motivates us quite like disproving an unjust label. They were tough people, always ready with an opinion. Josephus tells us, “They are enured to war from infancy.”
This is the background of John, his brother James, Peter and Andrew. Living out a faith in real everyday life. There was no Holy bubble, they were challenged and influenced by those who came in and out of the region for trade. I think this makes you more robust, we dream of a little isolated island where everyone is striving to serve God but the truth is we need the Tares, the weeds in our wheat to challenge and compete with us, if kept in balance it makes us stronger in what we believe.
John is almost certainly the younger brother of James, another area to perhaps to prove that he is a worthy and equal contender.
It would be nice to think that in that one meeting on the shore, John was transformed, that in the one call to drop his nets and follow, the defensiveness went away, or the abrasive and confrontational character mellowed suddenly.
But we know from our own stories that encounter is only the beginning. We only learn these things about John after he met Jesus.
The encounter is an invitation to a journey of change and of transforming us into a likeness that may never be fully attainable, but at least has hope with His power and grace.
Here’s the thing, though: that line of before and after Jesus I don’t think is so clear cut; what I’ve learnt from the scriptures and from my own conversion, is that the before isn’t just wasted time; I’ve found that all that went before serves as much purpose for my forward journey as the steps after my encounter.
We have a God that wastes nothing; no experience, good or bad, is pointless once we have nodded,
“OK then, Lord, let’s give this a go”.
Perhaps your response was a bit more enthusiastic than mine. He knew what I needed to go through or experience before I was ready to accept or even hear him call me, and also what I needed before I was in anyway prepared for any mission.
So, John’s story: Long before the encounter, he was being formed and prepared for it. John had a slightly better than average education, he could write in Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic, he had been taught in scripture as all the young men were, so He knew what the Messiah had to fulfil, even if he didn’t fully recognise it in the reality. And, although from the line of Levites, he wasn’t chosen for any other liturgical role, he hadn’t been sucked into the Pharisaic way of living out his faith. I’d suggest the perfect foundation for a disciple of Christ, even if not a perfect example of a finished product.
John was raised as a fisherman. When we hear the Phrase “I’ll make you fishers of men,” I picture trapping unknowing men, and locking them into a destiny they may not have willingly chosen. But there are/ were so many skills that you needed as a fisherman that you also needed as a disciple of the Lord. Skill and expertise in the techniques were needed for the different fish; different nets caught different fish. Some were in shoals on the surface, some were in the darkness at the bottom of the lake, and others would never be caught with a generic net. They needed a line and a hook, maybe even bait. (Nicodemus comes to mind here for me) I wonder if John ever consciously compared his fishing knowledge to how all these individuals responded to the call to come and follow.
Fishermen understood seasonal currents, underwater terrain, and weather patterns; they learned to read from the surface what was happening underneath and adjust their course or plans.
How invaluable it is to never assume that all you see is all there is, that would have run through their understanding from the earliest age.
Along with a strong work ethic and endurance, fishermen also learnt that unpredictable results were a part of life, and that there were no guarantees of comfort or success. Failure would have been as much a part of the story as the hauls. Probably more so…what an excellent grounding for a life in ministry, along with the understanding that most of these things were beyond your control and in the hands of a God who slowly taught you perseverance and adaptability from every one of your failures. For John and the others, those lessons served a much higher purpose.
So even after John has said “Bye, see ya, Dad,” we walk alongside him in the gospels, ranting and wanting God to smite the Samaritans—“gah”, he says “they are the bad guys, let’s sort them out, Jesus”.
Jesus tells him “no, John, that’s not the plan…”
The self-serving behaviour, was present in all of them probably, not just John. But it is John who writes of Jesus speaking right into it. [i]
“Truly, Truly, I tell you, you aren’t looking for me because of the miracles but because you ate all the food you wanted.” Jesus says
I wonder if this is one of those crucial moments for John… Jesus is asking, “What is your why, what is really moving you to follow me?” I think it’s a good question for all of us to ask ourselves. I would have sat in that crowd and, on any given day, struggled for an answer; what motivates me, you, to put this time in, to keep turning up when we don’t feel anything, when things aren’t working out so well, when its hard?
I think John would have been glad of the crowd so as not to meet the saviour’s eyes at this challenge. Did he yet have enough self knowledge to see that his motivations weren’t all for the glory of God… I wonder if John and the other disciples reflected on this afterwards. I wonder if it was this question that helped them to find their WHY, to stay when so many others left, a few chapters on in the bread discourse when Jesus says they will eat His flesh and drink His blood.
He is still not there in the finished product line even much later on, just before they leave for Jerusalem, Salome, mother of James and John, asks Jesus for the top slots for her sons, or maybe they ask themselves ( two accounts for this)…. Argh, I cringe every time I read this. Did they egg her on, “Go on, Mum, go and ask for us,” or was it all of Salome’s own volition? I don’t know, but I do know that when Jesus says, “Can you drink the cup I will drink?”. They are still so full of pride. “We are Jesus, It’s a definite yes from us”. I find this agonising and uncomfortable maybe because I know I have been that person… It reminds me of all the things I wanted to do for Jesus at the beginning of my journey, and I learned that, of course, I had nothing of my own to bring except maybe a big ole bit of sin. I declared to the Lord that I would willingly die for him if He asked. He replied, He asked me to live for him instead, and that would be a bigger, harder call. One I’m still working on now.
But despite all of Johns negative traits, Jesus gently sanctifies them, one by one. Defensiveness becomes boldness;
Blatant and frankly, ugly self-ambition becomes a measure for measure of self-sacrificing,
Deep-rooted prejudice moves to an even deeper ability to love.
His abrasiveness sands down the rough edges to a soft gentleness,
…and that pride becomes such humility that he omits his own name from the books he goes on to write. That fisherman’s resilience kept him present at the foot of the cross when all the other men had fled.
There will be elements of Johns’s story that resonate with our own; Its worth noting the only reference to Christ’s birth in Johns’s gospel is Jesus’ conversation with Pilate. Jesus says, “In fact, for this reason, I was born.” I want to give you the opportunity now to write your God story, your before-and-after, to explore how that statement relates to you. I know that for most people, maybe there wasn’t that big defining moment, but there will be a trail of many significant moments that have led you to be sat here now, reading this talk. I don’t know if it might reveal your why, but it should show you where he has been present.
In a journal, I am asking you to identify ten significant points and events that changed how you saw the world, the future, other people, and God. In each of those events, reflect on what changed because of it. Perhaps you would never have met your spouse, moved to that Job, etc. There will be painful events or seasons, too. Be gentle with yourself, let the Lord guide you on whether it is time to look at that. If it is that’s great; if not, then allow him to come into that wound when it feels safe. What followed as a result of these events? What would have happened if it hadn’t happened or if something else did instead? Perhaps you don’t see yourself as a journaller, that’s fine, make bullet points, as long as it moves from within, to some form on the page, its here it becomes physical, takes on flesh and is easier to see. Just like the First “Word who took on flesh”
Start with your birth and move through; there are prompts to help you think of things. It may be that you don’t finish this today, but that’s fine. The purpose is to start to see God’s hand in your life, in the good and the bad, and how he has steered and formed you.
Here are a few facts about telling our story, if you are still feeling a little reluctant – something happens to us. Our brains synchronise with the storyteller’s brain through a process called neuro coupling. It allows us to understand and empathise with the storyteller’s experience. As John tells us the story of all he’s seen, we are connecting with him, and as you tell your story, your listener will couple with yours; this is a beautiful way of sharing your faith; sharing our story is healing. It helps us process our emotions, and for the listener, it can lower anxiety and depression and even our tolerance to physical pain. We have been given a gift to heal ourselves and each other through our stories.
There can’t ever be a better more healing story than the one He is writing, and you are living now, my friends.
Lets start this exercise with a sincere prayer for His presence with us –
Loving and gentle Father, You watch us rise and fall, you know the hairs on our head, you knit us together in our mother’s womb. It is only here with you I am fully known. Show us Lord where your hand has guided us. Show us where you have made beauty from our ashes, allow us to see and feel that when we rejoiced you rejoiced too and that when we wept, Jesus you wept too. Bring us to a deeper understanding of ourselves and others but especially of you Lord, through the story you have written, and for the story you are still writing for each of us. Hold us close Lord, till we too meet you face to face. Amen.
[i] John 6:26
