
Part 1
Joseph ran his fingers back through his hair and clasped them tight behind his neck, ensuring his face could only look down. He wasn’t sure what to think, in fact he tried not to think, thinking led to feeling and feeling led to decisions he wasn’t yet ready to make. “I thought this was your will Adonai” he whispered “I thought, I prayed for your will to be done, and yet ….” He didn’t need to voice what was filling his heart to the one who’d made it. Since his earliest memories, Joseph had felt drawn to the austere and celibate life of the Essenes he’d often visited with his father, a life devoted to poverty, prayer and silence. He ached for the silence, the escape, the space to hear, to await…. but as he had glimpsed her face at the synagogue, something stirred in the pit of his stomach, something so primal and instinctive that he feared it. He shunned it, prayed it to stay away for fear that it would become more of him than he could control, at least he prayed until he was its master. “It is not good for man to be alone” Simeon had said, having watched the internal battle take place across Josephs face. He stared at the old man, horrified that his secret thoughts were laid bare. He said nothing but ran into the synagogue and fell hard on to his knees…. “your will, Adonai, your will” he repeated, over and over until it penetrated and overcame every other thought. As he stumbled out through the courtyard he caught the corner of a sellers stand, the cages piled high rolled over, the frail cages splitting sending chickens, quails and birds of all clean kind flapping and squawking wildly while the gnarly faced vendor lunged at each trying to recapture his merchandise. All were caught except the turtle doves who seizing their moment for freedom took flight. Joseph, mortified by the fuss and confusion offered to pay but the vendor waved him off, “just go,just go” he muttered. Joseph returned to the workshop, “Lord, please, I will work with my hands whilst you work with the desires of my heart” he prayed. The carvings for the Temple in Jerusalem were taking shape, his patience and attention to detail had brought him a good reputation. Many of the Romans had offered him good payment to craft images of their gods. Joseph had always refused, the money could never amount to enough to purchase the betrayal of the God of Israel. The God who he had been raised all his life anticipating the return of. Business was good, Herod had many building projects that kept anyone even remotely skilled in work. Though he chiselled efficiently at the stone, it was wood that brought him the most joy to shape. The wood always had its own story within it, a life in the knots and grain. His hands were only a tool to reveal what was already within. It was Shabbat, and today Joseph was to read the Haftara, “The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me” He began “Because the LORD has anointed me; He has sent me as a herald of joy to the humble, To bind up the wounded of heart, To proclaim release to the captives, Liberation to the imprisoned To proclaim a year of the LORD’s favor And a day of vindication by our God; To comfort all who mourn” The words sang to him and from him as he pictured the liberated turtle doves After the meeting the elders summoned him and several other of the single men present. “We need to elect a husband for one of the Virgins from the temple” he said “It is decided that now is the time for her to be wed, she is of the tribe of Judah, therefore it is right it should be from among you that she should be betrothed” Joseph closed his eyes, breathed a deep, deep breath. He neither wanted it to be him nor did he want it to be another. He knew nothing of this Girl and he knew less of how to keep a wife. “Your will be done, Adonai, your will be done” Whilst Joseph was absorbed into prayer, one of the turtle doves landed so softly upon his staff that he didn’t even notice its arrival. “The matter is then decided” spoke the elder, bringing Joseph sharply into the present. “Joseph, son of Jacob it is Gods will that it be you” Stunned, Joseph ambled back towards his neighbours house for the Shabbat meal, the words of the prophet and the elder still echoing in his head. As the bread was brought to the table, in his heart Joseph praised God for all he had done and all he was about to do. To be continued….