“Would not God discover this? For He knows the secrets of the heart” Psalm 44:21
If learning how you needed to grow in humility wasn’t uncomfortable, then wait for this… What if in this failure, God in His goodness, has shone a flashlight into those dark areas of our motivation. If you’ve not looked in this cupboard recently be prepared for some dirty corners. It’s not always very pretty in there and another place we need to be brave to explore. On the surface our motivation is obvious and transparent, we wanted “this” to succeed because…
- It would make us happy
- It would provide an income
- It would have brought about much good
- It would have helped people
- I just wanted what everyone else seems to take for granted
- It’s my right
I could go on, but you have to look in your own dark cupboards for the answer, but please ask yourself honestly. Look with integrity because Gods flashlight will pick it up and it’s His wish you bring it to Him. Start by asking yourself why it was important? Who would have benefitted from its success…and importantly who wouldn’t have? This isn’t to say that a successful business is not of God, or that to desire that relationship to work out is selfish, or to want that positive pregnancy test is something that He wishes to take from you. What we do need to check however is what is or was feeding that desire?
Can we hold our empty hands up and say they were pure? If God has placed that desire on your heart He will fulfil it. If it wasn’t and we are surrendered to Him in in all we are able then it wasn’t for us and there will be a good reason for that, even if right now and in the moment it feels like a betrayal. If our motives are selfish is a good parent going to permit us to continually feed that greed ? Or is he going to eventually say stop, we need to look at this, it’s not what I want for you. It will not bring you happiness or the freedom I died on a cross to give you.
Let’s gently explore some of the less than perfect motivations. Was your motive for success founded in a need to be seen? By seen I mean regarded as clever, regarded as driven, maybe regarded as Holy? Perhaps, this once you wanted to just be noticed, Just looked up to or for once be the one people envied. Only you and God know the root of where this comes from, whether it’s wounding, a lack of self-esteem, a parent who constantly knocked you down or some other source. Is there a feeling of inferiority amongst your peers? There could be a thousand different reasons you feel in need of applause. Please know this though, you are seen by God. He not only sees but wishes to heal. He wishes to bring you out of the chains of needing anyone’s approval but HIS.
If this was your motivation, your failure wasn’t a slap from our Lord, it was a light shone on a place of pain He wishes to heal. That applause would never have healed that wound, at best it would have been a plaster that would have deepened the hurt when it eventually had to be ripped off. Needing others approval or attention is not freedom it’s a prison cell. It prevents you from being who you were created to be in favour of what you think the world will esteem. That is exhausting and unsustainable.
John Henry Newman puts this so beautifully in the following prayer;
I am created to do something or to be something for which no one else is created; I have a place in God’s counsels, in God’s world, which no one else has; whether I be rich or poor, despised or esteemed by man, God knows me and calls me by name. God has created me to do Him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have a mission – I never may know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next……….I have a part in a great work; I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good, I shall do His work; I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it, if I do but keep His commandments and serve Him in my calling. ……….He still knows what He is about. I ask not to see – ask not to know – I ask simply to be used.
What a travesty to be so busy striving to be anything else than what He has called you to be in the world. What a loss to humanity and to God!
Jealousy – Was your motivation based upon what everyone else seemed to have and appear to take for granted? That secure roof over your head, that longed for baby, that solid marriage. It’s a very human emotion jealousy but not a particularly attractive one. Whilst the end goal was perfectly good and wholesome, if the motivation for it was born from covetous desires then the enjoyment and appreciation of the gift is already marred. Your joy from the success will be stained from the resentment that drove you to want it. How loving is a Father who says “let’s work on why, and when we have purified that, then my child when I give it to you (if you still desire it), you get to experience the absolute fullness of the gift, your joy will be tenfold” Often when the desire has been purified it turns out it wasn’t what you wanted after all, it was a greener grass that was actually more weedy and yellow than yours when you looked at it from a new angle.
Left unchecked Jealousy causes us to act irrationally and sinfully, Cain was perhaps the first but he certainly wasn’t the last. Josephs brothers were eaten up by the fact that their little bratty brother had such favour from their father, it led them to consider murder. They settled on selling him as a slave thankfully and that became their own salvation. When things seem unbalanced or unfair, if we bring them to our Father He sees our pain and will bless us in other ways.
Lets look at the story of Rachel and Leah. Jacob had to be tricked into marrying Leah, when he really wanted to marry her prettier, younger sister. When he eventually got to marry Rachel poor Leah had every right to be hurt and jealous,
“31When the LORD saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren. 32And Leah conceived and gave birth to a son, and she named him Reuben, for she said, “The LORD has seen my affliction. Surely my husband will love me now.”…
Leah goes on to have seven children with Jacob, whilst Rachel then becomes painfully jealous herself and cries out to God. Rachel’s servant bears two sons for her, but Rachel herself never bears her own children. How much would have Rachel given to be her older, less attractive sister?
Motivated by Guilt or fear? – Guilt can motivate us in strange and distorted ways. We can be driven to make amends, which can be a very positive fruit of remorse. The guilt we feel when we have done something wrong is a healthy sign that our conscience is alive and lead us to either apologise or at least try to make things right. As a motivator however guilt is a punishing master, it leads us to focus on ourselves, our flaws and our imperfections, it doesn’t lead us to lean on Gods mercy. If we haven’t learnt to forgive ourselves and accept the mercy of God then once again our motivation is flawed. If you were driven by a desire to be forgiven you’re a bit late to the party, Jesus has taken care of that on the cross. Work from love not duty. If you were driven by guilt I would hazard a guess you weren’t really that sold on the idea maybe? Perhaps the Lord has removed that Yoke you didn’t need to carry. Time for praise and thanksgiving I’d say.
Fear – Fear can be another toxic motivator, and it can take on many forms. Fear of loss can bring us to grip hold of things we were never supposed to hold on to. Fear of losing people we love and possessions can drive us to the ends of the earth in a means to protect the status quo. We can grip hold of people and indeed material things so tightly that it is inevitable they have to break free of the oppression or expectations. That the Lord has to gently prise open our fingers to release them is a gift of grace, one we may not realise at the time.
We can fear letting go of grudges, that state of being becomes a fortress, a place where we take comfort from the wrongs done to us, to bask in the injustice. To open the gates is frightening, that dark place may well be all we have come to know. There’s a fear that to let that go is for Justice not to be served.
Fear of failure – well that you are here, a few chapters in suggests that in His goodness the Lord is already working on any fears you may have on failure. Fear of failing means we don’t stand up and try, it means we spend our time anticipating the falling down. This motivates the wrong kind of building and the wrong view of success. Success is limited by our ability to step out in faith, it may well be the very cause of the failure.
Greed – Urghhh, I can sense you withdraw from the title. No one wants to think they’re motivated by greed, it is a misspelling of ugly right? But if we are walking in a spirit of truth and you find a spot of avarice right there hidden, this is a blessing to uncover and bring into the light. This is an excessive or insatiable desire for money or material things. This might be wanting a bigger house, a newer car, more money all these material goods that in themselves are not bad but can become a motivating factor in our lives, pushing God swiftly to the side. When our motivation is wanting more than we need we are sliding into an unholy situation that enslaves us into never being satisfied. It is also the gate to abusing the trust or dignity of others in order to satiate your desires. That is an exhausting way to live, never feeling contentment for more than a minute. Never being able to rest in the knowledge that you have this time, what most of the world is still searching for. Mostly, we are looking to fill a hole that only God can satiate, and until we find our home in Him we chase from every empty tomb to empty heart in pursuit of that thing that satisfies. It will only ever be God.
People pleasing – Sometimes our motivation comes from a lovely place, from a desire to bring happiness or help. If I am able to help then surely it would be sinful not to? What has to be carefully discerned is does God want you to do this. This is most probably a book by itself but it is easy to say yes to everything, because when we fed the hungry we were feeding Jesus right? When we clothed the naked we were clothing Jesus weren’t we? How are we even Christian if we are walking by on the other side of the road? The fact is on that day the Samaritan was called to help the traveller, and he responded. Had you walked a few minutes ahead of the Samaritan then yes, it definitely would have been your call to assist, however had you been just ten steps behind the Samaritan would you have stepped in and taken over? Would you have said, “step aside, you’re busy and important, I can do that for you”? Would you have then denied Him the opportunity to do his own good works? We will come to the greatest example of that in the next chapter with Mary and Martha.
For now let’s focus on what the Lord has called us to do. That is and remains our most pure source of motivation. If that motivation comes from anywhere but Him then we risk face down failure. How often are we exhausted and over burdened by what we think He is asking us to carry, when in truth His burden is light and His yoke is easy. When we start picking up other people’s yokes without being called to we will eventually drop everything under the weight, including the parts we were originally asked to carry by God.
Our Motives should be HIS motives – Was our motive God centred? Was it something that God wanted us to do? Or was it in reality something we wanted to do and were kind of hoping God would fall in behind? I know I’ve been mighty guilty of this. Shrugging my shoulders saying “it’s a great idea, why wouldn’t God want to bless this?” The reason is sometimes He says no, and that has to be OK with us. He sees into our hearts to a depth that we ourselves have yet to uncover. We have wounds that have affected us greatly that we are maybe not even remotely aware of, even our own sin leaves scars. Our Loving God, well he sees them all, and He wants you to bring them to Him.
How does Failure purify my motivation ? – You should be starting to see here that whatever has failed may well be the biggest mercy and bring light into some of your darkest places. Only God can do this, whilst I write each chapter I think this surely is the biggest gift, but He is a God never outdone in generosity. If our motivations are not directed from love they reveal some place in need of healing. Healing we may never have realised we needed until this time. He doesn’t just stamp on into our hearts He waits patiently for you to see your need for Him and then delivers with an abundance of grace. I don’t know your story but each time we have to turn back to God to see where we went wrong we are having our focus re-centred on the creator. What a marvellous and assuring view to have from our place of pain and disappointment. How much more do we seek to want what He wants, knowing that will bring about a richer joy.
So our motivations are purified but first a light is being shone on the less than glorifying ones and for future endeavours, hopefully we would have learned to examine our hearts thoroughly. I will hold my hands high saying how exhausting this process can be, but it is always worth it, really to start something with God’s blessing hand over your work or intentions makes life a lot smoother next time.
“unless the Lord builds the house, it’s builders labour in vain” Psalm 127