“For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 14:11
Failure in anything comes with a free as standard, ribbon tied gift of being humbled. This is one of those oh so tricky virtues that if you know you have it then you probably don’t! Seriously though, it seems one of the hardest concepts to balance. I shouldn’t think I’m less than I’m worth but I also need to be aware of my smallness in front of a mighty God and before that mighty God present in others. We often waver back and forth over that central line trying to maintain a healthy aspect. If we venture too far either side of that central line we fall into painful error.
What is Humility?
Someone wise is quoted as saying “It’s not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less often”
My daughter and a few close friends were very involved in the final stages of the Canonisation of St John Henry Newman. All in their early twenties, they worked tirelessly on promotion, social media, invitations to the event and the great event itself in Rome. The day of the Canonisation they arrived early at the Vatican hoping to get good seats. They handed their tickets to the Swiss Guard for directions, “ah” he said “follow me”. They followed the guard through the first enclosure, then the second and with great excitement to the third. As the guard then started to walk them up the steps at the very front of St Peters Basilica, it started to dawn on them they had tickets to some of the very best seats in Piazza San Pietro. Overcome with gratitude and emotion it was a day they describe now as life changing.
This is such a good example of humility, the desire to be present, to participate being seen as a gift in itself, knowing you are not the main attraction but a part of something bigger. To work in the vineyard with a heart full of gratitude to merely be there is being in the right place and will never leave us disappointed.
“7 When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honour at the table, he told them this parable: 8 “When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honour, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. 9 If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. 10 But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honoured in the presence of all the other guests. 11 For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 14:7-11 (NIV)
He has prepared you a seat at the table, as a gift, If you are dining with this greatest of Shepherds your place is, we can believe, assured, however be mindful not to place yourself in His seat.
.“It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.” —Saint Augustine
We have all met one, the person who needs to be knocked off that pedestal. Oh and aren’t we just the one to do it, with a quick cutting remark or a killer side eye. Pride however is more than just a “bigging up” of our role or part. Pride is a killer…ask Satan…actually no don’t he is too full of it to ever give you the truth. Pride is all about self-sufficiency and a false notion that we have more wisdom, or importance than God, even to consider ourselves equal is a gross error. We swagger along to a place where we don’t believe we are in need of Him. If we place ourselves on a pedestal there is only one place to go, yes, you’ve guessed it, that would be down. Pride is in fact living in ignorance of truth. It can be disguised in all manner of candy wrappers but it comes down to failing to live in the truth of who we are. If I am busy exalting myself I am only looking at others to lift me higher, stroke my sense of worth.
This is the use of people, sucking up attention like a sponge. Often it comes from a wounded and damaged sense of worth that (if we are even aware of it) we think will be healed by adoration from others. It doesn’t. In fact we place our fragile ego at the mercy of a crowd, with their own wounds and brokenness who can tear us down as soon as they smell our weakness and so the cycle begins again.
A different example is perhaps those times when we think that we have fallen so far from grace and failed so miserably to live according to his ways that God’s grace could never reach us, that this hideous time, we are beyond help. This sounds humble doesn’t it, it sounds remorseful but by this belief we are living in the lie that our sins are greater than the grace of God. Do you really believe you can achieve something stronger and bigger than God? Pride is when we sit ourselves in the shepherds’ seat, even if we are simultaneously beating our backs with his crook. Pride is a dangerous place to dwell, we are not God. We don’t have a mustard seed sized understanding of His vision and wisdom, so we are not going to make great decisions or choices from that seat. Those decisions and choices will keep us from intimacy with God. Those choices will hurt people and keep them in darkness and chains. Those decisions have not come from a submission to God, who is truth, and we know it’s truth that sets you free.
Why do we need Humility?
Firstly we have to remember our Lords own humble heart. What God is this that chooses to come to earth in a stable, Is laid not in a romantic manger but a dirty feeding trough? He who holds everything in existence will, with the same hands hold and wash the dirtiest part of his servants. But only those servants humble enough to allow their God to do it. We are created in the image of this humble God.
Somewhere between our creation and here, that reflection has been twisted and warped, the poor are washing the feet of the rich, the humble are placing fools on pedestals, and we hand over our dignity to those who have created false idols of the false idols. Humility shows love, compassion and a confidence in who we are and who we are called to be. It isn’t being weak it is the utmost show of strength. If we are humble nothing can touch us, Mother Teresa of Calcutta, perhaps the most incredible modern example of humility once said
“If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are. If you are blamed you will not be discouraged. If they call you a saint you will not put yourself on a pedestal.”
What greater freedom is there than to be released from the cares of other peoples opinions.
What can the Lord do with a humble heart?
How about the salvation of all mankind for a start? I can’t write or reflect on Humility without bringing the model of humility onto the page of Mary, the Blessed Virgin. There is and will be no one humbler than she. It was Mary’s perfectly humble heart that allows God to take on flesh. I hate to think how unbearable I would be if I had been chosen for something so incredibly important. Would I like Mary have been further humbled by Gods trust in me? I suspect not but ardently pray that the work began in me, He will bring to completion. What does Mary’s humility look like? What does perfect humility look like in purely human flesh? Can you imagine that every compliment you’ve ever received just wafts over or straight through you as if it contains nothing but air, not to be even considered, as it bears no importance to you. That all you want is for Jesus to be deeply loved without reservation. Imagine that your life and death would be spent for this one aim, wanting no comfort or reward for yourself EVER. To be completely centred to others and to HIM, yet never losing sight that He created you not just good but, Very good. When the Lord has in his hands a heart empty of our self, he is able to fill it with Himself. Then all manner of things become possible through God so present in that soul.
How failure can teach us to be humble?
When we fail, or our plans fail, even the least wise of people stop to question why? A painful part of the failure is realising we couldn’t do what we had set out to. The healing part is learning we achieve nothing of worth without God. We may well need to learn this lesson over and over again, one painful experience after another perhaps until we are sufficiently imbued with the knowledge of our need for God. This is the start of Humility. When we start to hear ourselves saying “well, what do I know?” We have learnt we can offer an opinion in charity based on experience, we can make well-judged assumptions but until we have taken the situation to God in prayer we are merely guessing at his plans. It’s still a little painful, but when the humbling comes from the hand of the Lord, gloved by our Lady something beautiful comes this way. It is a gentle knock that brings warmth, lifts you up and brings a flood of gratitude for His unending mercy and the very fact He who rules the sky’s and the seas looks on you and cares.
If however you have been knocked down and humiliated by others it can feel harsh and unfair, the bruises and wounds make you more determined to be self-reliant. The hardened skin of the scar becomes an armour to keep out any further risk of perceived humiliation. There is a difference, humbled is not the same as humiliated. God can and does bring beauty from these scars but I suspect it’s a harder longer road. Humility requires vulnerability, those knocked to the floor harshly by others build a stronger fortress rather than embrace a better way of being. The Lesson is, no matter how much that person needs humbling, that’s Gods job. As soon as it becomes your job you are in danger of pushing that person out of the Shepherds seat and nestling right in there yourself. God doesn’t want that, not one angel or Saint in heaven wants that, so for our own good we are permitted to fall or fail. Not only for our own salvation but for the salvation of others who maybe gave you a leg up to the pedestal. Our Lord loves you too much to leave you there. You can of course climb right back up after your downfall but only a fool would not stop and ask why he had fallen in the first place. Failure teaches us to choose our seat carefully. Below is Mother Teresa’s prayer of Humility…pray it with caution, there will be something that niggles as you read it through. Pay attention to that, that’s a place where there’s some gentle work to be done if you hand it over to God for his grace to pour into.
Litany of Humility
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus. (repeat after each line)
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honoured,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred to others,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being suspected,
That others may be loved more than I, …..Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. (repeat after each line) That others may be esteemed more than I ,
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease,
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should.
Amen
